it's really easier to focus on the negatives than positives.

someone commented that i got flabby ): then this happened:

on monday i stood at the vending machine during break. and seriously contemplated if i should buy Coke at all, cos it's fattening. what the fuck. i have never in my whole life NOT ONCE considered calories when buying food items. it's always price and taste and cravings that preside. not my weight. and the whole day in school i only drank a can of coke and ate oreo. although at night i did eat roasted chicken.

today i am surviving on a sandwich and gongcha. and i don't even feel hungry. on the contrary, i feel extremely full. i think it's become psychological.

i've always been skinny, and no one has ever called me fat/ flabby. so when i get ONE comment, it's like a big deal. maybe i'm unknowingly suffering from some eating disorder or some weight management compulsion.
anyway i did put on weight lah. like 2kg. so i'm 48. must try to hit 46 again.