did you know that ants can run at astonishingly fast speeds? i suppose anyone could, if they knew death was coming- a rolled up ball of ant-squashing tissue paper in this case. i find it extremely hard not to kill any ant i see. it's almost a cardinal sin for me to not kill ants. it's they way they sneak about stealing crumbs and intruding on your food space that gets me. i hate it when anyone touches food that isn't theirs.

a few days ago i experienced something. it was morbidly exciting, watching my fate being played out in that one small window. i wasn't that scared. and as i sat there, i wondered why i wasn't feeling anything at all. i suppose it was because i was almost certain what the outcome would be, and that i knew exactly what i wanted.

you found that unnerving.