today, i felt very strongly, a change of heart. it's like a sudden restlessness, boredom and yearning all at once. i want more. i can't settle for you. i feel like i can do better. i want to do better. i want to experience so many things and i can't because i make you tie me down. i make you tie me down because i needed somebody who reassured me that it was okay to not want to change. that it was okay to stop dreaming of bigger things. that it was okay to avoid fears and stick to routine, norms. and you gave me all that. but, i can't be daring with you. i can't be free with you. you loved me for who i was but now i realise it's because you love me for who i am that we can't be together. i don't love you for the whole of you. i am conscious of my wanting to change you. you're too childish at times, too clingy, too needy, too passive. i loved you because you were willing to change to please me. i want ambition, excitement, someone who pushes me to do new things, not settle in my comfort zone. i want someone who gives me new experiences. i can't expect that from you because we are too similar. all along i'd thought that you were perfect for me because you were like me, now i think it suffocates me. i want someone who is willing to throw me into the open and not fear me getting hurt by the world, someone who lets me take risks. i know we all need security, but i'm too young for that. i want to live dangerously while i still can. i want to live in the moment, i want to change and i can't do that with you. with you, everything is predictable. i know what you will say even before i ask it because you are me. you affirm my thoughts. you don't give me something that i don't already know. every step we take is the same. every word, every breath. i am so sick of it. i am so tired of all this routine and i want out. i want out but i know i am hurting you when i say all this because in your mind we are perfect. we were supposed to last forever but i find myself questioning this now. if i'm going to spend my life with someone so like me, then why bother at all? i don't know how to put this across gently so it wont be a bad break up. but i know it is all too sudden for you. i will still want to be your friend if you'll let me but you once said it was impossible and i find it all to be a waste because we're the ones who really know each other.